A Parent/Carer Lived Experiences

When Preparing for Adulthood Becomes Real

As a parent of a child with SEND, you hear the phrase Preparing for Adulthood long before it truly sinks in. Professionals discuss it as if it is a neat, tidy process — a checklist, a timeline, a set of outcomes.

But for families like ours, PfA is not a box to tick.

It is emotional. It is overwhelming. It is hopeful.

And it often begins long before anyone tells you it has.

PfA is about imagining a future for your child that feels safe, possible, and meaningful — even when the world around them does not always understand their needs.

So, what should PfA look like?

PfA should be rooted in your child’s strengths, interests, and needs, not in services or systems. It should feel:

• Personalised and flexible — shaped around the young person, not the process.

• Led by your child’s voice — spoken, written, drawn, or supported.

• Supportive for families — not overwhelming or rushed.

• Clear and jargon‑free — accessible for every parent and carer.

When done well, PfA helps young people grow towards independence in their own way, at their own pace.

When support falls short, families often feel confused and left to manage everything themselves.

What PfA Means for Our Children

For many of our young people, adulthood does not look like the “standard” path — and that is okay.

PfA should support them to develop skills in four key areas:

• Education, training, or employment

• Independent living

• Friends, relationships, and community

• Health and wellbeing

But these areas must be adapted for children with additional needs, sensory differences, anxiety, or learning difficulties as well as SEND (special educational needs and disabilities)

For some, independence might mean living alone.

For others, it might mean choosing meals, managing routines, or feeling safe in their community.

Every version is valid.

A Parent’s Reality

As parents, we carry the hopes, fears, and practical worries that professionals do not always see.

We wonder:

• Will my child be understood?

• Will they be safe?

• Will they have friends?

• Will they be supported without being pushed too far?

• Will they have a future that feels like theirs?

PfA can bring up grief for the future we imagined, and pride for the future they are building — often at the same time.

And that is normal.

What Families Need from Professionals

Families need PfA to feel like a partnership, not a battle. We need:

• Clear communication

• Realistic expectations

• Support that matches our child’s needs

• Time to process big transitions

• Respect for lived experience

Parents are the experts in their children.

Professionals are the experts in the system.

PfA works best when both sides meet in the middle.

A Message to Other Parents

If you are reading this and feeling overwhelmed, please know this:

You are not behind.

You are not failing.

You are not alone.

Preparing for Adulthood is not a race.

It is a journey — and your child’s path will be unique, valid, and worthy.

And as a parent, you are doing the best you can with the information, energy, and support you have.

That is enough.

A Message to Professionals

When you work with parents, carers, and families, please remember:

Behind every PfA meeting is a parent who has spent years advocating, explaining, fighting, and hoping.

Behind every young person is a whole world of strengths, challenges, and potential that may not fit neatly into a form.

Your compassion matters.

Your language matters.

Your flexibility matters.

And your willingness to listen can change everything.

Closing Thoughts

Preparing for Adulthood is not just a policy area — it is a deeply human experience.

It is about building a future where our children can thrive, belong, and be valued for who they are.

As parents, we walk this path with courage, love, and determination.

And with the right support, our children can step into adulthood in a way that feels safe, supported, and true to them.